What to do if you’re worried about baby’s or toddler’s social development during lockdown

Words Bea Waterfield

How does your baby learn about his connection to other people? When does he start making friends? How might the social isolation of families in lockdown affect your baby’s development? Is there anything you can do to make a difference? How can you help your baby or toddler’s social development during lockdown?

During these times of confinement, you are probably worrying how lockdown will affect your baby’s development, especially their social skills. This is a common concern at the moment and one we hear expressed regularly from parents.

Your baby’s social skills begin to develop from birth. You and the other people close to your baby are your baby’s first friends. As they get to know you and enjoy interacting and playing with you, you become their first playmates. With a bit of help from you they will learn how to interact with other people and other babies and toddlers too.

However, what you must remember is that you are your baby’s favourite and most important teacher, and this period of forced confinement could in theory have significant advantages for your little one too.

Spending more time with you than they would have done otherwise can really help build up the bond between you and your baby and it’s of particular benefit for younger babies, under about a year old. For older babies this can also reinforce your role as ‘teacher’. You may be living a simpler life with fewer distractions with less running from one place to another, which may mean that you have more time to spend with your toddler.

Time and attention are the most precious gifts you can give a child and as long as the stresses of the current situation can be kept to a minimum this will greatly benefit your baby or toddler’s development during lockdown.

3 ways to help your baby or toddler’s social development during lockdown.

Carve out time for yourself.

Reducing stress is easier said than done so I asked Emily Tredget, from Happity – the UK’s leading platform for under 5’s with a focus on mental wellness – to share some of her thoughts about self-care and its importance regarding your mental health. She says, “It is important to remember that in keeping our babies healthy and well, we need to first remember to keep ourselves healthy and well.”

Often we forget about ourselves, but like on an airplane, we need to put our oxygen mask on first. It is important to try and carve some time out (ideally each day, but if that isn’t possible, then as often as you can) to recharge – whether it’s a relaxing bath, phoning a friend, going for a run, or reading a magazine.

Personally, I try to go for a run every other day, and to cross-stitch in the evening after I put my son to sleep. This is a practise I developed after having severe PND and it really helps me. Yes, it is harder to do during lockdown and I don’t manage every day – but on the days I do manage, I feel so much better.

So please take some time to work out what you would enjoy doing (that can be tricky I know – I didn’t know I liked cross-stitch until someone suggested I try it and now I love it – something creative that takes my mind off the day!)

You can find more thoughts from Dr Zara (Clinical Psychologist) about keeping calm and carrying on with Covid 19 and remember if you are struggling with your mental health you are not alone. Please get help. You can find information on where to get help and support from Happity, as well as read blogs from parents who understand.

Take advantage of our new normal.

In addition to the advice above about looking after yourself there are other more direct ways to positively contribute to your toddler’s social development.

We recommend that you take advantage of any opportunities there still are for socialising: interactive classes on Zoom, socially distanced walks outside with another parent and little one and when they are back open, some COVID-secure baby classes.  Read our guide to the best free online baby and toddler classes. These online classes are still a good way for your baby or toddler to see other babies and follow instructions and activities.

Create a good routine.

With a clear routine you can make your small child feel secure and safe and give definition to the day. It can also help with concentration skills; by repeating an activity every day they learn how to do the activity and how to hold their attention on one thing for longer periods of time – an important part of learning at this age.

Safety, routine and security is a huge benefit to older toddlers at a very insecure and sometimes unsettling period of their development. They don’t know any different and so the message that “this is just how we do things round here” means they will accept quickly the status quo and find their own way of gaining the stimulation they need.

Pretend play and role play can be a great tool in your kit for helping 18m+ children to understand social situations they will face later when things get back to normal. Using puppets, dolls or teddies and your child’s emerging imagination can be quite a good temporary substitute for the real thing. If only the same were true for adults!

Remember that little ones are incredibly resilient and adaptive and they get so much socialisation just from you! There may well be an effect on this generation but there is every hope they will adjust and compensate when things return to normal eventually. You can only do your best given the circumstances.

If you’re worried about speech in particular , do checkout our guide to how your toddler’s speech might be affected during lockdown and what you can do to help.

About the author

Bea Waterfield, Co-owner and Director of Baby College, Baby College at Home and Inspiring Parents UK

Baby College runs a programme of fun and educational development classes and support sessions for parents and 0-4 year olds online on their platform Baby College at Home during lockdown and the Facebook support group Inspiring Parents UK.