If you dread bedtime, you aren’t alone. For many parents of neurodivergent children, bedtime isn’t simply challenging — it’s the most demanding part of the day.
Instead of winding down, evenings can become a cycle of dysregulation and meltdowns. With pillows and duvets being thrown to the floor, physically intense behaviour and endless negotiation, all before your autistic and ADHD child even gets into bed.
If bedtime became a battlefield months or even years ago, I want to share with you three ways you can make bedtime fun again for them (and you)
1.Create laughter moments before bedtime
Most people have been told a child’s bedtime should be a consistent routine that is calm. I’m here to challenge this, as neurodivergent children don’t want calm and boring; they want and need bedtime to be fun. Here’s why laughing at bedtime will help…
When your neurodivergent child gets the giggles or belly laughs before bed, it activates their parasympathetic nervous system. This helps regulate their nervous system and disengages their fight-or-flight response, which is exactly what you want to help your child feel more emotionally regulated moving into bedtime.
You know your child best; what is guaranteed to get a laugh? Is it you being silly or making a mistake, rough-and-tumble play, drawing, or guessing game?
2.Try these sensory-based bedtime games downstairs
Before going up to bed, create some time every evening to have one-on-one fun with your child downstairs. By doing games that intentionally put pressure through their muscles and body, you will have fun with them, meet their sensory needs, boost their natural melatonin production (the sleep hormone that triggers drowsiness), and spark positive interaction with them before bed, which will make their nervous system feel more regulated and safe.
Sensory play with your child before bed may look like:
- Tug of war using a dressing gown cord
- Whole body crashes into piles of cushions or a bean bag
- See who can hold a plank the longest
- Press ups or pressing their upper body down into bathroom scales to see the numbers change
- Jumping on a sofa, bed or trampoline or simply holding their hands to jump up from the floor
- Bouncing on a space hopper
- Arm wrestling
- Wrap them up like a burrito – hold the sheet by their feet while they try to commando crawl out
- Lifting hand weights together
- Pull around some resistance and make up games with them
Top tip – Set 15 minute timer and do these games with your neurodivergent child before going bed. It will help them get into bed feeling more regulated.
3. Dopamine the transition
If your child has ever said “bedtime is boring”, they aren’t wrong. Going to bed can be really hard for neurodivergent children.
Just getting your child up the stairs can be a real challenge. Here are a few simply ways you can inject some dopamine into the transition up to bed to make going upstairs easier for them and you.
- Grab their feet and do wheel barrows up each step
- See who can make the best arm pit fart noises
- Try going up 3 steps at a time
- Both move like a animal and guess what each other was when you get to the top
- Piggy backs up the stairs with a final toss onto their bed (safely of course)
- Racing them, if you have a child with a demand avoidant profile make sure you always let them win
- Play name-that-tune, choose a song you know they like see how quickly they can guess the track. Keep it playing while they get into bed?
About the Author
Michelle Cyril is a family Sleep Specialist for neurodivergent children with nearly 30 years of clinical expertise. Michelle is a parent to two autistic children with demand-avoidant profiles and works with parents internationally to make bedtime calmer and less stressful. For more information, videos and free resources visit: https://familysleepspecialist.co.uk